The ultimate cliche
by celestial power
Summary: Cliches in the Inuyasha Fanfictions for the Sesskag pairings. A pure parody work, not meant to disrespect authors. T ratings due to swearing. Ratings might change.
1. The great rescue!

_I do not intend to belittle anyone's work. Each and everyone over here is a distinguished author and my work is in good humour to make people laugh. If anyone over here loves this pairing extremely and could not handle the loose humour then please do not proceed further. All those who love randomness and want to have a good laugh go ahead and read this, because this fic is going to be extremely random._

 _Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Inuyasha and its characters. But maybe in another parallel dimension I do. Don't I *thinks hard*? But on this dimension it will belong to Takahashi Sensei._

 **The great rescue!**

"Mom I am leaving." Kagome yelled as she swung her monstrous, yellow, hardy and trustworthy bag around her shoulder. She was returning back to the feudal era.

"Like you ever stay back!" her mom shouted back thinking back carefully to the last memories when Kagome had stayed at home for a decent amount of days. She found none.

"Mom, I would be back." Kagome shouted back, sensing her mother's distress.

"Sure dear, may be on your upcoming test." Her mother was a fine specimen of motherly sarcasm. She has mastered the art of using motherly sarcasm. Kagome face palmed and left the shrine in a hurry.

She flung herself over the rim of the well and dived into the well. Soon she was engulfed by an enormous blue light and started floating. How could anyone manage to float after jumping into a well would always be lost on her? She had recently learnt the merits of Gravitation pull in Physics and was now searching for the mysteries of the lack of Gravitation during a time travel.

Kagome, unlike any other lesser and clumsy being, had learnt how to perfectly land on her feet after travelling the time gap. She once again had landed perfectly, her feet touching the well's bottom. She looked at the twigs of the climbers which dangled across the walls. She caught them with her hands and climbed out of the well.

"Where is Inuyasha?" kagome huffed as her trusted Inu friend was nowhere to be sighted. She took the bicycle which she had parked near the big old tree beside the well. Her bicycle was once again safe and not robbed. She blew the bangs on top of her forehead and started to paddle. This was by far the most unbreakable record of Kagome not falling and breaking her bones. How a person who trips every second, can perfectly paddle a bicycle on the uneven earth of the feudal era would always be questioned.

She paddled and paddled and paddled. She passed the forest thickets and was lost. Innumerable times had she transverse the same path and still found herself lost without Inuyasha. How she ever managed to find her way in the modern Japan was a mystery. She obviously had a chance encounter with Inuyasha sitting in a tree, kissing Kikyo. Inuyasha had run many paces to avoid the 'chance encounter' but as the subjected person was kagome, no one can avoid any 'chance encounters'.

She was hurt. Kagome was hurt. "I had loved you Inuyasha, and you did this to me." she cried so much it felt like her eyeballs would fall out of her eyes along with the tears. She turned her bicycle round and flew away from the spot, in a blind rage. She paddled and mopped the tears at the same time.

"Of course wench, I had been telling you for a long time. I love Kikyo" was what Inuyasha said. ' _Dammit, I can't fucking choose between Kikyo and Kagome. They are essentially the same person, then why the confusion? Who cares which one I love, the other one should just be happy. They are the same person after all.'_ Was what Inuyasha thought. He wanted to tear his hairs from his scalp. He had never known the truth, in truth he was just an indecisive bad mannered half demon with a big heart and a vast stretch of love reservoir unable to choose the one to love. He had always wanted to know, why both of them can't be with him at the same time. They were essentially the same being.

Kagome ran away. Now she was double lost and ended up in the western lands. How did she manage to get lost from the eastern part of Japan and eventually reach the western part was unknown. Tears in her eyes, she 'logically' thought it was the best option to park her bike and start running. She ran in blind rage, and tripped and fell. She remained sat and cried her heart out. Inuyasha had betrayed her the worst way possible. She had always known such a day would come, then why did she cry no one knew. Her 'logical' mind supplied her to sit in a demon filled forest and cry. She was a priestess after all, albeit a priestess without weapons and the knowledge of properly using her powers.

Inevitably a demon arrived, a large, bulky and sturdy one at that. Using the branch of a nearby tree to clean its teeth, the demon marched towards Kagome. Kagome in her 'haze' filled mind could not sense the enormous rumble of the earth. The rumble made kagome flip from a sitting position to a laying position as her back hit the ground. She was oblivious to her surroundings, she was mourning. The demon reached her and picked her up. She was unaware, she was mourning. The demon pulled her towards its mouth and opened the cavern.

A blast of pungent, gut wrenching smell reached kagome's face and her stomach did a flip-flop, then did she understand that she was on the verge of being swallowed. She shouted bloody murder and hit the hand of the demon with her legs. Like she could ever escape like that.

The great lord Sesshomaru was patrolling his lands on a very fine afternoon after having a stomach full of lunch. He believed in exercise after food to keep his digestive process healthy. He was patrolling his lands and then blew the wind. Along with the wind came the sweet smell of the 'wench' miko. Sesshomaru could not tolerate the smell of other humans because 'they were dirty' but he felt the scent of his 'brother's wench' to be sweet because she 'bathed daily'. Not the dead wench, the living wench he meant. He loved the scent of 'jasmine, cherry, orange, mango, rose, guava …..' that exuded from the miko. The reason pertaining to the variety of different body gels and lotions she used.

He took off to save her, because apparently he had caught the scent of her distress, only if emotions had any scent. Like in reality the western lord would save a human. But he had to save her because she was an asset in ending Naraku. She knew not of her own powers but he was determined that she would be able to end Naraku, how he was so sure was unknown to him as well.

Sesshomaru flew to her rescue. Like he would ever do something like that. She was about to be eaten, when he flipped in the air and ended the abomination with a swing of his wrist and his poison whip. Kagome landed in a dull thud on the ground. Sesshomaru swiftly landed beside her and looked at her beaten self. He scrunched his nose and spun around and walked away from the spot while she laid down sleeping.

 **Note: I did not copy this from anyone. The format might feel similar to some authors but the work is mine.**

 **Puns over here are completely intended ;)**

 **Read and review!**

 **Thank you!**

 **~Celestial.**


	2. The beastly debate

**A/n: Inuyasha does not belong to me *cries*.**

 **Words written in bold are of coursely the dialogues of the beast.**

 **The beastly debate.**

It had been almost a month since Sesshomaru had saved Kagome. He till this day wondered the reason as to why he had done something like that. As everyone knows, the great Sesshomaru would do nothing as waste his time, brooding over the business of mortals. But as of now, let's pretend he had no better work to do and was thinking about the sweet smell of Kagome. Correction, 'his beast' was thinking about her scent.

" **Her scent was so good, I was licking my lips. I was panting so hard that my tongue got torn by my fangs"**

"Beast, stop talking nonsense, even though beasts cannot really talk. But still stop speaking nonsense."

" **I will not handle this, fluff boy! Bring me my miko."**

"You will respect your master. Even if we are the same entity and you are just my actual form still 'this one' is your master. You will not talk back to your master."

" **Bring us our miko."**

"Us? Though 'this one' knows not of which beings you speak. 'This one' will not bring the miko."

" **She is so beautiful. If you do not bring her to us, we will take over you, master."**

"Even if you are released only when I allow you to be, and you cannot essentially take over me. Still 'this one' is troubled because apparently 'this one' cannot return back to his actual human looking form after the beast is released, even though 'this one' is supposed to be the master."

" **He he, got scared fluffy! Now we will project the images of the naked miko. Even if we have never and that means never ever seen the miko naked. But we know how her naked form looks and by the method of telepathy, we would project it in your brain with supreme quality."**

The scene of Kagome bathing was projected in Sesshomaru's head.

*INSIDE HIS HEAD*

Kagome was bathing without a care in the world. Her naked back was exposed to whom no one know. It was exposed and shone white like a pearl? The water rolled down her back and outlined the swell of her body. Her body was like a grown up even if she was young? Normally a girl grows up by the age 15 but she was an anomaly because she was filled in the correct places?

The water beads fell down her back and made her glow. She turned around, obviously not happy with just showing her back. When she turned around, her black locks fell down her body. They were soaked as if it will remain dry while she is taking a bath. The locks patterned the swell of her breasts, then her hips and stopped before the curls of her shapely…

*OUTSIDE HIS HEAD*

Sesshomaru shook his head to remove such thoughts. Sesshomaru even after being in the association of beautiful demoness seemed to have thought Kagome to be divine. He thought her to be good looking? And acted like a sex deprived dog?

His beast laughed a husky laugh.

" **See I told you, you would love this Fluffy. The miko will be perfect to bear us an heir. Even if she is clearly a human and cross breed species are not likely to be strong, still she would bear us good heir. The reason, her hips are broad to carry pups and her breasts are full to nurse them."**

"Beast, you are wrong. 'this one' would not mate the human, even if the reasons for her birthing an Inu heir are extremely lame, still 'this one' will just overlook that and think about the pride 'this one' has to keep intact."

" **She would mother our pup well. Even if we have never witnessed her being a good mother, because we have never really had her as a company, but from the knowledge of certain villagers passing by we have come to know that she has taken up a fox kit. We from our assumption have concluded that she is a good mother and would raise our pup well."**

"Hnnn…. Though 'this one' knows not what this 'hnn' means, but 'this one' uses this to run away from possible tight spots in an argument."

" **Heh, beast got your tongue master? Surrender to us, because we have been rattling the iron door of your mental cage for a long time? Master we will jump out of the cage, even though we know not where the key is."**

"Beast keep quiet, the brother of mine in a traffic red haori is approaching faster than light?"

" **The miko… she is here….."**

 **Sesshomaru cut his link with his beast like a switch, 'tukkk and off'.** He positioned himself, his sword in hand. He realized he was holding Tenseiga so he hastily threw the sword beside him and drew Tokijin.

Inuyasha came into view, Kagome on his back. They have resolved their issues and were once again happy with one another. Occasionally fighting with the 3rd person in their love triangle. But kagome could not forget Sesshomaru after he had saved her. Provided that he had left immediately and had not even assisted to her wounds, she was very happy because he had saved her and was now magically in love with Sesshomaru. Kagome had gone from calling Inuyasha a two timer to herself being one in a matter of seconds.

"Oh my god, you are so hot Sesshy! Oops did I say that aloud" Kagome was dropped from Inuyasha's back and Sesshomaru smirked.

"Sesshy sama smirked, someone is gonna die." Shouted Jaken in his super annoying 'toad like' voice, which is obvious seeing that he is a toad demon.

"What wench, you think he is hot? Even though I know that he is an exotic looking demon, and that he is a good looking badass and that increases public demand, still I am asking." Inuyasha being a dog barked out.

Kagome being human did not understand dog language and stared at him with a dumb face.

The scene suddenly changed and the brothers decided that it was better to fight with swords.

" **Kaze no kizu"**

" **Tokijin evil aura, red glow!"**

 **Inuyasha was pushed backwards by the red glow and Tetsusaiga flew out from his hand.**

 **His demon blood took over. A beastly growl ripped his throat? He ran away in the distance to kill chickens?!**

Kagome least bothered about what happens to Inuyasha, stared at Sesshomaru. The lord stared back with disdain on his face. The wind blew, her scent hit his nose and the beast once again started to rattle its cage door.

Sesshomaru smirked; the beast does not possess the key to open the door.

 **Note: Puns are completely intended.**

 **Sama – Lord, a title used to designate someone of high respect or order.**

 **Miko – Priestess**

 **Kaze no kizu - Wind scar.**

 **The attack which Lord Sesshomaru used was made by me for laughing purpose. It has no relevance to the anime of manga.**


End file.
